Mirror , Mirror

So this past weekend I went out to buy a new foundation. My old one was finished, actually discontinued. Besides I had a new spec of what I wanted. Something lightweight on the skin, not gooey. No subtle fragrance. No ghost-like cakeyness around the eyes.

It’s not new skin that I want, not even a new face, just some refinement of the complexion. You understand, don’t you?

From counter to counter, I went. Speaking slowly I explained what I was looking for, then waited.

“Sit down,” the first consultant said. He opened a pink bottle and began spreading a liquid on my face. 

“What’s that?” I asked.

“It’s primer,” he said sternly, then continued his ministrations.

“But, but I don’t like a lot of stuff,” I said.

“When you come to a luxury house,” he snapped, arm with make-up brush temporarily held high, “this is how it’s done!” 

After primer he moved on to the actual foundation. Glancing at the bottle, I read All Hours. He had selected a long-lasting formulation, his counter’s heaviest. Had he heard me at all?

During the afternoon, I visited two other counters and was greeted by the same incomprehension. Here I was, an irritating woman who didn’t know what was good for her! I had an idea in my head that didn’t correspond to any actual product. 

Finally, at the last counter a lovely lady tried hard to fathom me. Eventually she said, “Own your skin. You’ve got good skin, except for an age spot or two, just own it and drop the foundation.”

Age spots? I’d never heard about those buggaboos. I still don’t know exactly what they are, haven’t located them on my face, but the term: “Age spot”? Hello, who invents these terms!

I say it’s time for change. “Age spot” to go. If we have to name these spots, what about “Having-Lived spot” or “Wily Wisdom spot?” Hmm, what do you think?