I’ve been an on-and-off meditator for at least twenty years. My off periods have lasted months. My ons at best, dismally inconstant. I assumed meditation is good for me, but over the years I never felt anything really different by doing it. I tried mantra meditation, attended or listened to guided meditations, but wasn’t aware of any felt enhancement. When I did it, I just did it.
Until now that is. The other evening I came home after work feeling truly drained. I’d been feeling depleted on many an evening. A lot had been going on at the office, a lot that brought up emotional responses in the people around me, and in my self. It all felt intense.
Here I was finally home, having eaten my dinner, I could watch a movie, read a book, talk on the phone, surf the net, or eat more pudding. None of these quite answered what I was wanting, needing.
Out of the blue a thought came to me – what I really, really wanted was to be immersed in a well of silence. To be taken to a deep pool of quietness that I could sink into. So quiet, so deep, pure respite from the day’s excitability. Meditation?
Quickly, I googled “How to Meditate?” and was taken to The Chopra Centre, where I scanned Learn to Meditate in 6 Easy Steps. Without thinking too much, I rushed to my easy chair, put on my timer for 20 minutes, and off I was.
This time, for the first time, meditation felt really satisfying to me. No bells and stars, no scintillating lights, nothing spectacular. Just a comforting time of quiet.
Every evening since, it’s been just over a week, I look forward to my 20 minute interlude. Breathing gently, I softly think the mantra “So” on the in-breath, and “Hum” on the out-breath. Softly breathing, I simply enjoy the time of stillness.