Tag: relationships

I Looked At You

PERSONAL VOICE

When my eyes were averted, you slunk around me
Spinning a tender lattice of awareness
Willfully piercing my consciousness, forcing me to awaken
When my eyes were averted, you wanted me.

Irresistibly I turned and looked back at you
Smiled, said something, let my eyes laugh into yours
You drew back surprised, disoriented, your radiant face darkened
When I looked back at you, you closed up on me.

Stunned, confused, awash in shame, I collapsed in a heap, grew small
What had I done, I called out to the night, what had I done?

Effulgent comprehension arrived slowly, and in its wake,
Indignation, purple anger, rage bubbled and frothed until
Raucous laughter burst forth, my blood ran warm
And I grew large, enormous, and full.

You & Me

PERSONAL VOICE

it took me a long time
to see, to finally see
that you never really liked me
not all of me, not me

only a part of me
some part  that enticed you
you wanted a part of me
but there i stood grotesque
oozing all of me

you chipped away
chiseled, hacked and sculpted
tweaked and reshaped
i became your sticky version of me

flickers of awareness
darted in my dreams
skipped and slipped and tripped
disappeared unseen

it took me a long time
a long time to see

I Miss You

PERSONAL VOICE

I miss the letters you used to write me,
Chockfull of aliveness and vitality,
Brimming, luscious and uncensored,
Tales of your day-to-day in raw openness, let slip,
Unheeded into the soft container of our affection.

Abruptly a sliver of discomfort has slipped between us,
You write me posts, comments, tweets, texts,
You write to me and all of them at once,
The silent others who watch and listen are now a cryptic presence
Between us, in the midst of us.

The murkiness of otherness has altered your voice, changed you,
But I know the colossal beauty and brilliance of your unfettered self,
I want you back, I want you back again,
Unconstrained by the cameras and the din.
I miss you, I miss hearing from you.

© 2019 Bilkish Vahed

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