A strange and lucid experience this morning. I’ve been low, nursing a runny nose, aching limbs, sore ears. There’s a bout of flu doing the rounds, so that figured. Mid morning, the sun was shining, things felt peaceful, when my phone rang.
A routine call, I discussed routine things, then put the phone down. That’s when it occurred, the strange thing. A hot feeling flushed through me, tensing my senses into high alert. Awash in a surge of acute awareness, a lucid thought grabbed me: this routine conversation is not routine at all, it said. This situation of repeated discomfort in the guise of the necessary everyday that you tolerate, has to stop. Dis-ease cannot continue, surely you grasp this!
Shock, horror, disbelief, anger, till finally I yield. Yes, it’s been awhile that I’ve tried to deal with this situation, make it better, easier, viable. Given it my best shot. But the incompatibilities remain, the discomfort continues.
Change is calling. But, you know how it is, even when change is urgent, the pathways are not always spontaneously discernible. Today I turned a corner, that’s enough for now, it has to be.